Category: Choice/Intention

Playing in the Snow

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We have been fortunate not to have to deal with the Winter weather that a lot of people in the South have had to deal with over the past couple of weeks.  Huntsville is nestled in the Tennessee Valley which seems to temper weather patterns. I’m sure a meteorologist could explain it but all I know is that most extremes in bad weather, jump over us. 

But two nights ago, around 7:15 PM, it started snowing.  And it stuck. And an hour later, it had covered everything in glorious white. The Buddy Man was thrilled.  It was the most snow he can remember seeing. The last snow storm with accumulation of 4+ inches occurred when he was just four months.  He (and, OK, I did too) kept going to the window to watch it fall.   

As I prepared him for bed, he couldn’t stop talking about waking up and playing in all that snow. I got in bed myself, looking at my weather app, my anxiety escalating at the thought of the Hubby traveling to and from work in this wintry mix.  Rain was coming which would inevitably turn to ice. Would he be able to make it home?

And then I had another disquieting thought; we wouldn’t wake up to the glorious winter wonderland that was happening outside our very door. It would be different, if not gone completely.

I called to the Buddy Man and told him to get up and to put on warm clothes and his boots.  We were going outside, right then, to play in the snow.  Yes, it was past his bedtime, and yes, his excitement would cause him (and consequently me also) to stay up and he (and consequently me also) would be no good for educating at home in the morning, but, I realized, we would never get this chance again. 

We went out and built a column of snow, which in his imagination became a snow castle.  We pelted each other with snowballs and got each other in the face, and ears, and hair more than a few times.  I tried to capture it all in a photograph: his glee, his excitement, the thrill of being outside in the dark, playing in the snow. I tried to capture the moment my heart soared away from my anxiety of earlier that evening as well as the anxiety that has encased me these past 12 months.  He shrieked and laughed and I laughed as I haven’t laughed in a very very long time.

Needless to say, no photo or video could capture it.  At best, what I have is a reminder of that glorious night. I will hold that in my heart as long as I live and can only hope that my son will always remember the night he and his mommy played in the snow. 

enjoy life…

fourth friday’s “secret”: #buytheflowers

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This Friday’s “secret” is courtesy of Anne Bogel’s upcoming book, Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decision, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life. You can listen to Anne read Chapter 13: “Small Shifts toward Simple Abundance” here. Or you can catch me talking to Anne about this very thing (and some other stuff) on Anne’s podcast What Should I Read Next Episode 222.  In fact, you should probably do one or both of those things before reading on for context. Or maybe it’s not necessary. Don’t overthink it. LOL. I’m thrilled to have my mommy here to guest post about what she did after listening to the first half of Episode 222.

#BuytheFlowers.jpeg

I stop and put the baby’s breath in my grocery cart! But before that….

I’m on my way to the grocery store (not Trader Joe’s) listening to the podcast What Should I Read Next, Episode 222. My daughter, Shannan, had shared it with me. As I’m pulling into the parking lot, the part about Anne shopping at  Trader Joe’s is finishing up.

 I walk into the store get the shopping cart and, as always, to the right are the flowers.

 I like cut flowers. And I’m blessed to have a husband that brings them home quite often (he’s a really great husband and dad).  I really like the inexpensive ones, like carnations, because they last so much longer.

I also really like baby’s breath, which I later learned are in the carnation family.  I’ve only remembered seeing them added to other arrangements, not necessarily in a vase by themselves. So, most of the time, I pass them with my grocery cart thinking, “I really like these,  I want to get these, I wonder how they will look by themselves in a vase, one day I’m going to buy some, I’m going to buy these the next time.”

 I had prevented myself from doing so because I didn’t want to deter my husband from continuing to bring flowers home. LOL

 But after listening to Anne’s dialogue with herself on Tuesday mornings in Trader Joe’s, I reached for the flowers. 

Guys, it is absolutely ridiculous the way that we talk ourselves out of the simplest pleasures in life: a bubble bath, a cup of tea, a nice pen, a glass of lemonade instead of water with lunch, lighting the scented candle that we already own! As Anne says, “we think our way out of happiness, over and over…It doesn’t have to be this way….We can give ourselves permission to enjoy something that exceeds the minimum we need to get by. We can appreciate the good things in front of us without feeling guilty about them.”

So buy the flowers, Guys.  And if you are not into flowers, find your equivalent.  And if you haven’t a clue about what that is (and there is no shame in that, I didn’t know for the longest; all it means is that you’ve got a lot of fun exploration to do) there are loads of ideas in the comments of Anne’s blog post here.

#buytheflowers and enjoylife…

P.S. And yes, I realized, today, that this is not the fourth Friday, it’s actually the fifth.  Oh well, LOL, the “secret” applies any day of the week.

hello 2020!

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Happy New Year

“Take nothing for granted.  LIVE.” -Kyrzayda Rodriguez

In August of 2018, my family took a road trip (a 14-hour road trip) down to Miami with the then 3-year-old Buddy Man. Road trips remind me of a passage by May Serton: “One arrives through the uproar of one’s anxiety and panic, exhausted at the start.” That’s essentially me on a trip, especially with a toddler.

However, the Buddy Man was awesome.  With his iPad playing Blippi and other randomness about trains (which he is still obsessed with), we didn’t cry once.  Correction, he didn’t cry once.  I came close. You see, I had forgotten to get baby wipes (he still wasn’t potty-trained) and milk. What mother forgets those essentials? The plan was for him to stay with his grandma upon our 1 AM arrival while the Hubby and I were to have honeymoon-of-sorts in a hotel with a king-size bed.  I doubted the Buddy was going to go along with that plan. My anxiety was high: no wipes for his bottom, no milk, and I wasn’t going to get any sleep that night. I was fretting.  I was worried.

Then I realized that I was fretting and worrying.  I tried a few deep breathing exercise.  I thought “what’s the worst that could happen?”. I thought, “I haven’t slept before. So I will have a massive headache.  That’s what Tylenol is for. And as for wipes and milk, there are stores where we were headed. That’s what the Hubby is for.” That relieved the pressure. Somewhat.

Screen Shot 2019-12-23 at 11.48.15 AMAngst relieved.  Somewhat.  I went on social media.  There I saw Kyrzayda Rodriguez post (I had been following her for years) about starting her 5th round of chemo. FIFTH round because the other four didn’t take. She was wondering whether it was time to give up. The post was undeniably somber. She closed it with these words: “Never take anything for granted. LIVE.”

I was properly chastised.  We were on a 14-hour road trip to Miami – to sun, to water, to the wind coming off that water.  I was determined to make it a good trip. And I did.

Kyrzayda passed one month later. She was 40 years old.

I’m determine to make 2020 the year that I take nothing for granted.  The year that I live. Let’s do it!

 enjoy life…