spark joy: create home thru konmari

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photo credit: @booksamillion

In the first Enjoy Life Project on the blog, we are working on Creating Home, one of my intentions for 2019. The first step for me is to purge my home of the unnecessary. I am choosing to use the KonMari method, developed by Marie Kondo, a Japanese decluttering guru and author of two book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up {LM} and Spark Joy {SJ} that I read over three years ago. (You can check out my intro about why it took me three years to do this.) After completing her first two all important steps: (1) Commit to the process and (2) Visualize our destination, our next step is to purge our belongings.

Before we jump into the criteria for purging our belongings, I wanted to share with you guys what happened when I took some extra time to visualize my destination. Marie strongly encourages us to make this visualization as vivid as possible.

I was continuing my research in preparation for this project, and I happen to do some right before I went to sleep.  While I was sleeping, I had the most vivid dream.  I was preparing to leave my home for the day and I opened my closet was greeted by an overwhelming sense of serenity.  Everything had its place and everything was in its place.  My beloved faux leather jackets (yes, I love them so much I purchased two of them) hung next to perfectly fitting jeans. Underneath, my shoe collection waited patiently for me to select which pair would support me that day.  I opened a drawer lined in a beautiful light-colored patterned which contrasted beautifully with my folded black tops and underthings.  On the dresser was a lovely picture of the Buddy and the hubby, my favorite perfume, and a vase of flowers. What was the most palpable was the sense of sheer happiness and tranquility that I felt in my spirit. I woke up with that feeling, wanting that feeling to stay with me. That’s what this whole project of “creating home” is all about.

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The ability to keep what sparks joy and chuck the rest. According to Marie, this is one of only two skills necessary to put the house in order.

She points out, “people cannot change their habits without first changing their way of thinking” and instead of focusing on what to get rid of, she recommends one tiny tweak. We are choosing what to keep.

SIDEBAR: Worried that perhaps you haven’t yet changed your mindset? No worries. According to Marie, tidying in one go (within six months) can do that for you because the change is so profound that it touches your emotions which changes your mind for you.

We chose what to keep by deciding to keep those things that “spark joy”.

That’s it. There are no other criteria.

In fact, she states that the moment you begin to think about how to decide what to keep, that is the moment that you are off course and headed for rebound-the necessity of having to complete the entire tidying process again. Personally, I don’t want to clean out my closet again. I have been doing cleaning out my closet for 17 years! I am tired of it.  Aren’t you?

In Spark Joy, Marie states:

Feelings of fascination, excitement, or attraction are not the only indicators of joy.  A simple design that puts you at ease, a high degree of functionality that makes life simpler, a sense of rightness, or the recognition that a possession is useful in our daily lives – these, too, indicate joy.  [Emphasis provided]

But for other things, joy will be indicated by the thrill of the touch. You will just know. A la my leather jackets. The process of discarding is also called a “joy check”.  I really like that.

If you are afraid that you do not know what gives you joy, she recommends finding something that you know you really really really like.  And then compare how you feel about it to the other item that you are not sure about it.  As you go through this process your “joy meter” will be honed and distinguishing what gives you joy will become easier and easier.

I feel that I have a pretty good idea about what sparks joy for me.  My difficulty will be in “chucking” the rest.  I tend to be a bit of a pack-rat. I always think that I will need something or that I will wish that I had kept it. I think this will be my main challenge.

I’m excited! Let’s see how we do. Do you know what sparks joy for you?

The first category is clothes, which I intend to do this weekend.  As stated above, per Marie, the process of tidying the entire home should take place within a six month period.  On her show on Netflix, I saw a couple complete it within a month.  There may have been some sleepless nights involved with that one. Momentum is very important and she recommends that once you complete one category, you move on to the next one on her list quickly, using the same criteria: does the item “spark joy”. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me but I would like to be finish in about three months.

enjoy life…

Next post in the series:

Clothes, Part I

enjoy life project: intro: create home thru konmari

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For the past three years, I have set intentions (I dislike using the word goals).  This year, so far, I have three of them and one of them is to “create home”, terminology “borrowed” from Joanna Gaines.

In her new book, Homebody, Joanna describes her home as the eye of the storm.  “There’s a certain calm I experience there no matter what is swirling around outside. Home is where I feel safe.” Right now, home is where I tend to feel the most guilt.  All the undone tasks that call to me, along with everything that has to be done at home on a given day.  I want to change that. I want to love the home I am in. And I want everyone who lives and visits there to feel loved and safe. This is what I mean when I say “create home”.

First thing that I need to do is clear the clutter and I have always wanted to try the KonMari method since reading her book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up twice, as well as her second book, Spark Joy, over three years ago.  This year Netflix released a new series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo where Marie tries to help people declutter their homes-and their lives.  I devoured the series within two days and was inspired to completely “tidy” my home this year.

I am pleased to annouce the first ever EnjoyLife Project here on the blog: Create Home thru KonMari. And I invite you to come on this journey with me.

Step 1: Commit to the Process

Marie identifies the first step you must take is to commit to the process. Marie warns that the process will be hard.  And it is.  This is not the first time I have begun this process.  Last time I began in January 2016. You can read about it here. It didn’t work. I didn’t follow through.  Marie says that  “tidying up means confronting yourself” and, boy, was she right.  And that was what held me back in 2016.

It’s worth saying again. Marie insists that this will be hard. And for a long time, I avoided anything that seemed too difficult.  Especially when it came to my feelings.  I stuffed them down, buried them deep and piled ice cream on top of them. This seemed easier than dealing with my actual emotions: my sense of failure, guilt, fear, etc. Tackling those things would hurt too much. My default instinct is to try to fix the thing, to move forward, to keep pushing, to try the newest method, to read the newest book, to implement the next plan.  And, for a long time I worshipped at the false god of efficiency and organization.  Oh, and perfection, or at least, the appearance of perfection because underneath everything was a mess.

Kind of like my home.  Most people visiting my house would insist that it was one of the neatest homes they have ever been in.  And that may be the truth of their experience.  But I know where the clutter is buried and what lurks in the closet.

Step 2: Identify Your Ideal Lifestyle

Step two is to identify your ideal lifestyle.  Thanks to leaving a full-time position at the end of 2017 and following the advice of Shauna Niequist in her excellent book, Present Over Perfect, to listen to my spirit, the voice of God, I have been able to discover some of what I am meant to do in this world.  I love this quote, “Be still and know.”  Before the knowing, before the stillness, there is the being.  In 2018, I began to learn to “be” and in the process rediscovered what my ideal lifestyle looks like. And perfection is NOT part of that equations anymore.  Honestly, my ideal lifestyle does not look that different from what it was before I took that detour of a full-time position in late 2016.  As I said then and reiterated at the start of this post, I don’t’ want to spend time dealing with stuff at home. I want my home to be a source of tranquility and a source of nourishment for my family, where everything  and everyone has a place and everything is in its place.  My knowing where that place is would be awesome.

Step 3: Finish Discarding First

This is going to be the difficult part for me.  I want to finish. To see the awesome “after” pictures but that’s not how Marie works.  Things will get a lot worse before they get better.  That’s one of the things that scared me the last time.

The Other Steps

Step 4: Tidy by Category, not location. Marie’s first category is clothes.  I will be tackling that this month and will share my progress next month.

Step 5: Follow the Right Order.

Step 6: Ask yourself, if it sparks joy.  Remember that you are not choosing what to discard but what to keep.

If any of you want to participate with me in this process, I would be thrilled. We could encourage and share our joys and challenges together. Let me know if you’re interested in the comments below and tag me on Instagram using the hashtag: enjoylifeproject

I’ll be back next month with an update on my progress.

enjoy life…

Take a look at the next posts in the series:

Spark Joy

Clothes Part I

Clothes Part II

Books

what i’m into – keeping me sane {january 2019}

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 I would love for Leigh Kramer’s What I’m Into community to live in this space now that she has decided not to host the link-up.  I invite everyone to share your link to your What I’m Into blog posts in the comments. And let your community know that you are doing so.  We’ll do this every month, next on Friday, March 1.  Please spread the word.    

 In addition to our monthly practice of recording what we’re into, I’m also linking with Modern Mrs. Darcy, listing the things that are saving our life right now.  It is the middle of winter, and a lot of individuals find winter difficult.  I know I do. But Anne believes (and I happen to agree) that “by pausing at its halfway point to share the things that are helping us through it, we’ll lighten the load.”

January is my birthday month – a highlight in the middle of the depressing weather. But the circumstances (cold, dreary, wet, filled with sickness, colds, flu, etc.), have a way of making everything difficult.  So, I have tried very hard to incorporate strategies and events to keep things interesting throughout this month.

I hosted my first New Year visioning party, Enjoy Life 2019, with a few close friends in my home. I combined all the different exercises that I have done over the years into something that rang true for me. While thinking about what I want to accomplish this year, this quote by Danielle Laporte inspired me: Humanity is depending on you doing what is meaningful to you.

This month, I featured Becky Glaze on the blog, with my first Enjoy Life Interview in a long time.  It was so much fun – check it out here.

Additionally, this month I took the opportunity to go to my parents’ condo in Daytona Beach for a personal writing retreat.  A friend accompanied me and we had a wonderful time.  There was lots of laughter, discussion about books, writing, and warm beverages.  I was also able to run outside on two different days and enjoyed the glorious Florida sunshine, which is always good for someone who is susceptible to seasonal affective disorder.

Unfortunately, I returned home to realize I had developed a serious cold and my son had contracted pink eye.  On the up side, I had to stay inside: drinking lots of peppermint tea and orange juice, reading, and, of course, playing the Sims 4.

What about you? What have you been into?  What’s keeping you sane? What’s saving your life right now?

Be sure to link to your posts here and head over to Modern Mrs. Darcy to get some more ideas.

enjoy life…

P.S. This is the last weekend to enter to win a travel size of Clean Beauty Cleansing Balm.  I LOVE this cleanser for the winter. It keeps my face hydrated through these very drying months. Enter by subscribing to my blog and/or following me on Instagram.  Winner will be announced next week!