what i’m into – that’s keeping me sane {january 2018}

fcshare-5QoIrLqNI was so thrilled and honored to have my article, Overhauling My Concentric Circle of Responsibilitypublished on Rocket City Mom earlier this month.  Take a minute (OK, maybe five; it’s rather long) to see what I planned to do this year.

 

“After a lifetime of believing that the voices that mattered were Out There, approving or disapproving of me, I’m learning [to listen] to trust the voice within, the voice of God’s Spirit, the whisper of my own soul.”
– Shauna Niequist, Present Over Perfect

This is keeping me sane in a very literal and real way.

What’s keeping you sane? enjoy life…

 

friday’s “secret”: practice empathy when you can, sympathy when you can’t

This post was inspired by my thoughts while listening to the sixth episode of Modern Mrs. Darcy’s What Should I Read Next. Anne and her guest, Tsh Oxenreider, spent a little time discussing the book, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed. Both of them didn’t particularly care for the book and abandoned it but after reading Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, also by Strayed, Anne said that she had more insight into Strayed’s life experiences and was thinking of giving Wild another shot.

I read Wild last year and while it isn’t one of my favorite books, I enjoyed it because I wanted to read about Cheryl’s journey, hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. I personally wanted to know how she could go out into the wild, alone, while never hiking before. I was curious as to how she dealt with the fear and I wanted to read her story. And while I wouldn’t have made some of the choices that Cheryl made, I realized that the book was a story about a certain time of her life and it is highly unlikely that who she was then who she is now. I’m different and I don’t know if any book can tell an entire story; it can only give us glimpses into certain aspects, certain thoughts, and certain experiences of someone at that particular time.

Which is also what we are only able to see of each other in actual life. It made me think about how we, in our humanness, often make judgments about other people, often times not knowing their story. And when we do know bits and pieces, we are quick to judge without empathy (if that is possible) or sympathy (when empathizing is not available).

I did this all the time. But life had a way of showing me a lot of my flaws, causing me to be empathetic to a lot of situations. Plus, in attempting to connect with others in a sincere and authentic way, I have begun to be more sympathetic to others.

I don’t know if anyone can tell that I am making the effort but I am a lot happier. No judgment here! And it’s a lot easier to…

…enjoy life.

friday’s “secret”: intend to remove things

One thing that I have discovered about myself over the last few years on my journey to “comfortable being”, is that I absolutely dislike, maybe even hate, spending an exorbitant amount of time taking care of inanimate objects. I don’t want to spend hours cleaning my house – thus, my home is only 1400 square feet. I don’t have a lot of knick-knacks on my shelves because I do not want to to dust them. I cut my hair because I disliked spending hours doing it every week. I personally believe that “the more possessions you own, the more your possessions own you.” There so many other things I’d rather be doing that would make me so much happier.

So, 2016 is the year that I commit to my version of a minimal lifestyle: if it is not useful, beautiful, or loved, it’s out of here! Thus, one of my Intentions for 2016 is to “remove anything from my life that is not useful, beautiful, or loved.” And I am focusing on my stuff during these weary dreary winter months and into the traditional time of spring cleaning.

People generally describe me as a “neat” person; I would describe myself as “neat-ish”. Mommy ingrained in me the habit of making my bed every day (Thanks, Mom!) and I generally put most things away by the end of the day. But I know where the bodies are buried: the desk top that covers the mail and receipts that I haven’t dealt with in a week or more; the closet full of boxes that contain papers that need to be sorted, filed, or trashed; the clothes in the closet that I can’t fit into any more, or can I? All of this weighs on my all ready busy mind. As William James has so famously stated: “Nothing [is] so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an incomplete task.”

Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying UpLast year, I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondō, a Japanese organizing consultant and author. I have read a number of organization books and articles in the past and have even done wardrobe and closet consultations in another life – pre-Buddy Man. What appealed to me specifically about Kondō’s book was her claim that using her method, the KonMari method of tidying, none of her clients have ever reverted back to their untidy selves. “Yeah, right” was my immediate reaction. I have organized before, many times in fact, but have always discovered that I have to do it again within a few months. This year, I am committed to doing it her way and seeing what happens. I plan on sharing my journey with you; you guys will keep me accountable!

Marie’s first step, before you throw anything out, is to visualize and describe the life that you want to have and what you want to feel in your home. Well, as I stated before, I don’t want to spend time dealing with my stuff; I want to spend my time being a good mom to the Buddy Man, cooking wonderful meals, reading, writing, and running. I want my home to be a source of nourishment for me and my family; a place to rest and to prepare for our lives outside of the house. I want to feel tranquil in my home, everything having a place and everything in its place and my knowing where that place is would be awesome as well!

Over the next few months, I will share my process, my observations, my successes, and my setbacks. So, let’s begin.

Has anyone read the book? Have you tried her methods or any methods to stay organized? Tell me about it.

enjoy life…