Emily P. Freeman’s quarterly habit of recording what she learns during the season is something that I strongly recommend for everyone. And this fall has made me get one major thing.
Intentional, thoughtful, and present decisions are a must.
Last month, someone asked me to do something that I have been wanting to do for a long time. But the timing was not right. It would have been on top of everything that I had going on in my life at that time: my parents’ coming into town; the Buddy Man’s birthday party; and previous commitments that I had made to others, and more importantly, to myself.
I struggled with it, wrestled with whether I should go ahead and do it even though it would have taxed my mental, physical, and emotional strength. I have an innate desire to please people and make them happy and not doing this thing would have certainly not made everyone happy.
Finally, I decided to test my “personal decision-making template” that I have been working on for some time. I had put this template together to try to decide between two things that are neither right or wrong.
- I looked at my priorities – which was most important?
- I looked at how I have decided that I wanted to feel (via working through Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map) and the way I have chosen to live my life (via Gretchen Rubin’s concept of Personal Commandments).
- I identified my attitude about each choice. Would I carry any anger and resentment with either one?
- And finally, my ultimate decider, which decision would give me peace.
I decided not to pursue the opportunity. And, to be honest, I wasn’t sure I had made the right decision until I realized that because of my mild (to me) obsessing, I had forgotten to make the chili for the dinner. I gave myself the mental and emotional space necessary to be fully present for my family, my son, and his birthday party. I was true to the previous commitments I had made and present for those closest to me. I am so grateful that I was brave enough to make that choice.
And head over to the Emily’s Link-Up to see what others are learning also.